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who am i?

Name:
redux
Location:
External Services:
  • reduxde@livejournal.com
  • reduxde AIM status
  • 744452870 ICQ status
  • reduxdengaku@jabber.org
Who am i?

I feel like a totally different person than I was just a mere 3 years ago, which is the story of my life.

I finally understand that humans are NOT a perfect creation, but that we are a prototype, and that it is NOT written anywhere that the world is supposed to be perfect. We are a work in progress, not a final product, and we never will be. Only a complete fool walks into a laboratory, picks up a half finished experiment, and complains it doesn't work properly, so we at least owe the same courtesy to ourselves.

For the first time in my life I can look at everything and say that I'm a happy person. I get it. I know what I want, I know what I like, and I'm not ashamed of it (though I'm not necessarily willing to share it). I understand that I'm a minority in this world and while I realize nobody is ever going to view me as fitting in, I'm starting to see the part that I play and how I do fit in.

A spider web is made of strands and meant to catch flies, but Not every strand in a spider web is meant to catch flies. Of the millions of strands, 99.9% are a tightly woven to trap, but there are a scant few lonely strands sticking out that attach the web to the tree or the wall. Standing in the middle of the web with limited vision these strands seem like a waste of material, forming a part of the trap thats full of gaping holes and completely incapable of catching bugs.

I think my purpose is the same. I believe I'm an essential part of the bug catching process, but I'm not meant to actually catch any bugs myself. If and when I figure out precisely what my purpose is I'll let everyone know.

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